The Principle of Mutuality is a universal principle that says that
every interaction we have with another is based on mutual
agreement. By this, we mean that the interaction must be fair and
beneficial to both parties. Only in this way can the interaction
become truly meaningful and healthy.

The acceptance of this principle is implied in every relationship.
Problems arise when this principle is violated. Violation can be at
the conscious level or the unconscious level.

= Taking What is not Given =

At the conscious level, we violate this principle each time we
consciously intent and act to take from others what is not given.
This includes the taking of intangible as well as tangible things.
Tangible things are things like properties, belongings, money and
even this body. Intangibles are things like life, rights, space,
time, self esteem, choices, values and trust. Avoiding taking
tangible things from others without their explicit permissions is
easier as it requires coarser awareness. Avoiding taking intangible
things from others, on the other hand, requires more awareness and
attention on our part.

We also often violates the principle of mutuality in an unconscious
way. By this I mean that we are not fully aware of having violated
this principle. Perhaps we did not have the conscious intention to
take what is not given to us but due to our lack of self awareness,
we nevertheless violated it. To prevent this unconscious violation
requires a much higher level of self awareness from us. It requires
courageous introspection and the examination of our habitual mental
tendencies. Only then can we eliminate this unintentional violation
of the principle of mutuality.

= Giving Away our Power =

Another source of problems with this principle is when we ourselves
give away our power to the other party. Most often, we do this
unconsciously and unintentionally. When we do not know how to be
assertive with our rights, we dis-empower ourselves. When we do not
even know our own rights, we do not know what we have given away.
Thus, knowing our rights and being assertive are two essential
elements to empowering ourselves. Knowledge is required for the
former and courage for the latter.

= Two to Tango? =

The principle of mutuality is a spiritual principle that governs
relationships. When adhered to, it can bring forth spiritually
fulfilling encounters and outcomes for everyone in the
relationships. This is the ideal spiritual relationship. It is a
win-win and is conducive to growth and personal transformation.

Although every relationship involves two or more parties, it does
not mean that if the other party chooses to violate this principle,
you on your own cannot adhere to it. In fact, irregardless of
whether the other party is aware of or adhere to this principle of
mutuality or not, you can continue to live in accordance with it.

= The Right Attitude =

All it needs to succeed with this principle is to have the right
attitude. What is the right attitude? When interacting with
another, ask yourself "How can I make this interaction beneficial,
meaningful and fulfilling to all concerned?"

I see this approach working out very well in my work as a general
practitioner. As soon as a patient walked into my consultation
room, I ask myself "How can I make this encounter a wonderful
experience for him/her?" Most people are already quite apprehensive
when they see a doctor, so simply by being warm and friendly, and
making them feel at ease begins the process of healing for them.

I believe this approach is suitable for all types of interactions,
including personal, social and business, and strongly encourage
that you give it a try. You would be amazed at the results.

Author:

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with keen interests in self
improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the webmaster
of http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Dwddl&m=3bRkPnCO0l5oRd5&b=vItLIqlSJKT7MKpPz.JRwg, http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Dwddl&m=3bRkPnCO0l5oRd5&b=R7T_ZQKWR_AvQGLMu497KA
and http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Dwddl&m=3bRkPnCO0l5oRd5&b=FcS6YGeABSDYKFGBwvWgDw . He is also the author of
"The Book of Personal Transformation" and several other booklets
on meditation and spirituality.